Standards

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that there are no such thing as standards anymore.  If you look around people actually apologize for being picky when they correct someone's bad spelling or grammatical error.  I guess it is because of labels like Grammar Nazi.  No one wants to be a Nazi, so being a Nazi over something as silly as a spelling mistake must make you a really bad person!  Thing is though, if we don't hold on to standards, they start to get forgotten.

It used to be that you started learning to write in Kindergarten with a big fat pencil, moved on to a standard yellow HB in grade school and then if you could write neatly and without mistakes you got to graduate to ink.  Not everyone managed to write perfectly, but there was a certain amount of slack that let everyone eventually move on with the rest.  Sure, kids got teased if they were slower than the rest, the last kid to move up to a pen was called a baby or laughed at (although this was usually short-lived as there really isn't much you can say on such a small thing), but everyone eventually felt good about the fact that their maturity was clearly identified by this move from "baby" pencils to "adult" pens.

I remember being so proud when I got my pen, I wasn't the first, but I had worked hard and managed not to be last either.  There were all sorts of little tests and steps that we took in school that let us know each step of the way that we had accomplished something, we had learned and we had gotten one step closer to being an adult.  I had my share of items where I was the person ridiculed too.  My weakness was in multiplication table speed tests.  We had 100 small questions on a page and had to answer them all correctly in five minutes and I could never get more than half done because speed tests make my brain shut off.

I was hurt, humiliated and felt about as intelligent as a paper bag.  This is probably why these tests don't exist anymore.  Thing is though, it really wasn't that bad.  I survived.  I moved on.  I got better at my multiplication tables, but still struggle to do math in my head quickly.  This is part of who I am.  I no longer let the pain rule me and I can assure myself that even Einstein wasn't quick with the basics and he was a math genius!

Is this new practice of no competition, almost no testing and lowered expectations allowing kids to find their full potential?  I don't see it.

Thing is, without standards how do you know where to set the bar?  People are inherently lazy, they will do the least amount possible to get by.  If a child is not asked to spell correctly because spell check will take care of it, how do we ever get away from sentences like this:

"My mom gave me to many bars in my lunch today, I asked for to and she gave me five, do you want to have one?"

If you don't see the issue in that last sentence then you are a product of those lower standards.

If all the electronic devices stopped working tomorrow what would you do?  Would you hand write your letters and hope that the person who gets the note will be able to correct your grammar and interpret your message?  Would you guess at the measurements for your flooring and hope you have enough and not too much?  Would you add up someone's change wrong and end up getting your pay deducted?

These are legitimate concerns.  Computers fail every day, programs go haywire and there is nothing you can do to stop it.  Don't you want your kids to have the tools on hand to be able to figure everything out on their own?  Isn't the purpose of education to teach a child how to learn?  How to think?  You don't even really need to tell a kid how things work, how things are, you only need teach him/her how to reason and work it out, he'll do the rest.

A child in today's education system only learns one thing - how to memorize and regurgitate sanctioned and accepted views on a range of subjects.  They are not asked to think beyond what is given to them in textbooks and hand-outs.  By correctly regurgitating the concepts they can graduate high school without even the smallest ability to think and reason for themselves.  They enter a workforce that is quickly degrading into a useless mass of mindless automatons.

A server doesn't know what to do if a customer asks for something outside of her day-to-day efforts, she is stumped, she runs for a Manager who calls head office and after an hour tells you that the lawyer suggested this option or that option.  I remember when a displeased customer (even if it is a minor complaint) getting offered the entire meal for free or a coupon/certificate for a free meal next time.  The other night my whole table got their orders mixed up, substituted and messed around and the manager had to get advice from the Head Office lawyer to give my son a $5 gift card because they didn't have what he came for and he had to settle for something else when it was his birthday meal.

Heck, due to lowered standards we are expected to tip 10% for BAD service when that used to be the standard for GOOD service.  I hold to the old standards in a lot of things.  I care about spelling and grammar, I calculate on paper if I can't do it in my head and rarely grab a calculator, I won't switch to an e-reader because screens are bad for your eyes and paper just feels more natural.  If I need to do something or if I want something, I try to figure out how to do or get it on my own before I look for someone else's solution.

Even among the craft blogs I like to peruse, I am starting to find a decline in the complexity of the crafts.  Slapping some mod podge over a piece of paper on a chunk of 2x4 isn't what I would call crafty, it is a kindergarten project as far as I am concerned yet I can honestly say that this is the basis of one blog I used to visit and the woman has a whole store dedicated to these types of crafts.  I can't imagine spending good money on something I could get my friend's 4 year old to make for under $5.  In fact in grade two (2 for those of you who had issues with the sentence above) my son was perfectly able to make a wind chime out of copper pipes and fishing wire.  I showed him how to cut the pipes and sand the edges smooth and how to tie the pipes to the lamp bracket with each a little longer than the last.  It was beautiful and almost looked store-bought.  In fact I actually had to go into the school and get into an argument with his teacher who insisted that either I did it all or we bought it.  I showed her the receipts and let my son show her how easy it is to cut a pipe.

Just because we can't all be the best doesn't mean we should have to lower the bar to suit those that can't.  Those too lazy to try or to work do not deserve our praise, those that try and do not succeed need to learn their personal limits and work within them.  Sure, you won't be the happiest person, but at least you will have proper self confidence instead of useless self esteem.

Next time - the difference between self confidence and self esteem and why you never want to promote the latter.