Self Esteem
Self Confidence
Are they the same? No.
Are they equal? No.
Okay smarty-pants...what's the difference?
Self Esteem = To esteem oneself
Esteem = To hold as best, to think highly of
Therefore self-esteem = to hold oneself as best or higher than others.
Self Confidence = To have confidence in oneself
Confidence = certitude, assurance
Therefore self-confidence = To have certitude in who you are
It may already be clear to you what the differences are between the two concepts, but many people still often confuse one for the other.
Self esteem is unjustified. Since we all agree that "all men are created equal" then it is unreasonable to even begin to consider self esteem a worthy subject of conversation at all. I have met lots of people throughout my life that display amazing examples of self esteem and I am sure you have as well. From the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert cartoons that can't admit he hasn't a clue what he is doing to the Chinese couple running an Italian restaurant, there are some things that self esteem makes ridiculous.
If you spend your life "earning" prizes for showing up or get good grades because your teacher isn't allowed to fail you then I am sure you'll have a tonne of self esteem, but when I ask you what you can do you haven't a clue.
Being told "you suck" might be bad for your self image, but it can go a long way to encouraging the development of self confidence. As a child I was the pariah, teased by everyone on the playground because I was emotionally sensitive and gave them the reactions they were looking for. I was also clumsy, terrible at public speaking and multiplication. I was enthusiastic in gym but my results were laughable. I spent a lot of time being told "I suck" in various different terms. As an adult I find that I now amaze people with the wide variety of talents I possess. It isn't just that we all grew up, it is that I spent a lot of energy in becoming the person I am today. I worked hard to achieve a level of confidence in my duties and can claim to be one of the better professionals in my field because of it.
So I have no self esteem, but lots of self confidence. I do not think I am better than everyone - only most - and that can be backed up by facts and evidence which I'll produce to anyone who asks. When you can line up a hundred accolades, accomplishments or results you have confidence in your abilities and therefore in who you are as a person. If you cannot then all the bluster and self esteem in the world won't matter a hill of beans.
This is why I tried hard to give my kids self confidence and crushed any possibility of self esteem.
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